40 years for me too, and I'm not even out yet!
funny you posted this today, I was at the meeting earlier, looking around at everyone, wondering what their lives would've been like without WT. More kids, some kids, better jobs, prison, who knows? If they don't wake up then at least they thought they lived a fulfilling life don't what was right. It's us poor saps that are awake that have to suffer.
It IS sad. But at least you're making the best out of it. Chin up!